I am having a hard time these days. There’s so much around me (in terms of parenting strategies) that makes me feel really uncomfortable and frankly, angst has entered my life like a ravage beast.
It all started with this.
(gif via: http://screencrush.com/mean-girls-gifs/)
I mean, why? Why is it that we have reached a moment in time where we need to reward a child for e v e r y t h i n g. Just for the record, my rewards are limited and I delve out reality checks like its free candy. To their annoyance I often say “well done! You’re going to get a………… HUG for that!”
I’ve always said that I am not an expert and can only use my 10 years of parenting – and ofcourse every child is different and each parent needs to work accordingly. Now that that disclaimer has been said, let me move on
It seems like the tide has shifted. These days, if you do not co-sleep/breast feed until 2/not shout/become gluten + dairy + sugar free mum and dad’s, you are ostracized. And don’t even get me started about lunchboxes. There are gadgets out there that can cut the sandwhich into a friggin castle and and carriage. Madness.
The above items are NOT fake. I am not even making this up – I found each of these items at my local mall. People are actually buying these things.
Guess what peeps? MY KIDS SLEEP ALONE IN THEIR OWN BEDS. ALL ALONE. Yep, they have done so since they were ummmm… BORN. And, shock horror they are fine. (Well as fine as a 9, 7 and 3 year old can be) Yes, when one of my children are sick or complains of being scared, then they jump into my bed but it is a ‘sometimes’ thing. And, I am fine with that. Am I loving them less? Am I teaching them that they are not to be close to mummy and daddy? Am I inadvertently ruining their compassion levels for the rest of their lives?
The answer to that my friends, is a fierce and passionate: ‘dear-professors-and-judgemental-new-age-mums: get over yourselves’.
Then I read this:
^Can you believe it? This is a book called “How to parent mindful children.” Becoming mindful is an art that most adults are still grasping, it is a lifelong journey. Why the heck are we starting with these young kids by getting them to smell chocolate and raisins? The world has gone mad.
I don’t accept that there is a perfect way to parent, just like I do not allow anyone to tell me there is a wrong way, also. Safety and health are paramount and everything else is sprinkles on a sundae.
Let me tell you what I do accept: education. And learning. And understanding what makes (or can make) you a better parent. NOT what makes the child a better child. Right? Right.
Over and out,
Check out these links for some pretty cool and funny and honest and pretty darn good advice parenting.