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C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S.

You are probably reading this because you are inundated with facts and figures and nerves about moving to the best city in the world. The city that only dreams big, and literally too. It wins every single Guinness Book of World Record.

—[Random fact for you: Dubai, the city of gold, made the world’s longest 22-carat hand-made gold chain measuring a total of 5.522 kilometres. Moving on.]—

I’m going to be straight with you and tell you all about what to expect. You’re welcome.

1/ When you become A Dubai Person, you will always, always, always, always start your conversation with: “Where are you from?” and “How long have you been here?”




2/ Expect some traffic jams. A LOT OF TRAFFIC JAMS.


3/ You will never be able to go to  a public toilet in another country again.

4/ Carrying your groceries? Pushing your trolley of goods to the car? Assembling your bookshelf? NEVER AGAIN.


5/ You will never, ever have to cook again.

6/ Your accent will change. It’ll be a mix of Arabic, Philipino, Russian and British. Add a splash of American.


7/ Sometime between your 1-8 month of arrival, you will stop expecting people to give you their addresses. Landmarks and famous buildings will be enough information for you to be able to navigate to their home. YOU WILL HATE GOOGLE MAPS.

8/ Warning, Warning. You have been warned: ETA of terrible home sickness 6-10 month period.


9/ When you do go back “home” you will want to come back. You have caught Dubai Fever. Be careful, after 3 years you will never go back.

10/ If you are a parent, you will hunt down places at school as if your life depends on it. HUNT IT DOWN.

11/ If you are not a parent, you will still hunt down places at school as if your life depends on it. (Some schools have a 3 year waiting period. Insanely popular schools have messages on their crappy websites about 2045 being full.)


12/ When you get to Dubai, this will be you upon seeing the prices of things.

13/ After 6 months, this will be you.

14/ This will be your reaction every single time you see prices for homes for sale or rent.


15/ Don’t worry. YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND why the landlord needs 1 cheque. And you will never understand how they expect people to have 1 cheque ready for a whole year’s rent.


16/ Bring every single document with you. Marriage licence, change of surname licence even your pen licence from primary school. They need everything here. AND make sure it is all certified. Then get ready for them to ask you for a document NOT on the list.

17/ Going to Westfield will feel boring, after Dubai Mall.


18/ Resaturants. They will seem less glamorous to you. Be careful, Pierre Herme is just an everyday thing here. #justsaying


19/ You will learn that Dubai has 2 seasons. 1. HOT and 2. WE-ARE-2-INCHES-AWAY-FROM-THE-SUN-HOT.


20/ Air Conditioning will become a norm. In fact, you will need a jacket in Dubai only for indoors.


21/ Dubai gives M U L T I C U LT U R A L a whole new perspective. 20 different nationalities in one classroom in common AND there’s every kind of cuisine available. Feel like Uzbekistani food? No problem.


22/ Make sure you buy extra bed linen and sleeping bags – you will host all year around because as I first mentioned – YOU ARE MOVING TO THE BEST CITY IN THE WORLD.

A perfect winter's day....

My Facebook wall is constantly updated with posts from friends and family back home, discussing the weather. And I truly didn’t realise how much the weather plays an important role to Aussies until I moved here.

Back home (if you don’t know about that, read this), there are small chit chat topics that can and will occur with strangers, family or even the check out lady at the supermarket. They are (in no order of importance):

AFL footy. Depends what part of the season it is but 99% of the time, some hulky AFL star has become a druggie/alco/womaniser. We feel compelled to lament on ‘wasted talent‘ and ‘what a jerk!‘.

Mondayitis. This common phrase is used sparingly. Whether your a mum hanging at the playground with other mums, or your a corporate guy heading into work at 6am, everyone shares the same mentality and that is to speak of Monday like an arch enemy.

Public Holidays. Aussies plan these ‘holidays’ weeks and sometimes months in advance. In Aussie fashion, normally a public holiday is teamed up with a curriculum day for the kids, to give you that extra time off. Family days out and a weekend away is painstakingly worked around a Queens holiday or a few horses running around to win the Melbourne Cup. Public Holidays feel like that $50 you accidentally find in the back pocket of your jeans. A nice treat.

And last, but definitely not least –

The Weather. This is possibly the most common of topics, especially in Melbourne. It can turn into full on conversations with say, the neighbour (anyone really). Sometimes, it is a source of pure joy but at other times it causes a huge upset in lives. The weather plays such a pivotal role, that often, conversations end on the note: “hope the weather holds up.” IN fact, even the ‘Evening News’ dedicates 4-5 minutes explaining and reviewing this topic.

Which leads me to the Weather in the UAE. Hmmmm. I  am starting with this as my first part of Unique things in the UAE”, but it will probably be my shortest blog post.

The reason is actually quite simple.

For about 7 months of the year it is warm. 3 of those 7 months are beyond HOT. And the rest of the year, is – let’s say – pleasant. I think they call it ‘Winter’ but I am yet to feel the need to use this word to describe the current months (Nov-Feb).

And so, with such predictable, sunny weather it is rare that anybody here really discusses the weather. Actually, I have NEVER made small chit chat regarding the weather. I mean, what am I supposed to say, “Soooo, nice day today, yeah?” I think I would be given peculiar looks. Don’t worry there are many other things that are readily discussed, instead (please see following posts titled ‘Advertising – or lackthereof’ and ‘Communication Breakdown’).

A perfect winter’s day….

Ofcourse, sometimes, we think and wonder about the weather back home but the truth of the matter is, we have become acclimatized to Dubai weather. Now, we have a snicker at “those tourists” that are swimming in 23degree water. That in Dubai terms, is freeeeeezing.

Till next time,

be good!